For most of my life,

Like many people I know,

I’ve had a fear of heights.

Although…

Fear doesn’t quite define the sensations.

The word TERROR better describes

My internal state at elevations.

My body, paralyzed.

Barely breathing,

Heart palpations,

My mind reeling.

Like a spider trapped

In her own web –

Holding myself back

From nourishment.

 

As if I cannot trust myself

Not to suddenly lose my balance

On this perfectly flat surface.

Or to let go

As if compelled

Into the void of space below -

Unaware my mind might be planning

A darkly secret crime of opportunity

Should I ever get near enough to the edge

Seizing the moment to brutally

Plummet myself to my death.

 

Recently I made a discovery.

An “aha” moment that is

Perhaps the key to recovery.

The fear is not of being up high.

Being up high actually amplifies

Where the root of the fear lies.

This terror we name “fear of heights”

Is actually the fear of FALLING, right?

 

As if we cannot trust ourselves

Not to suddenly lose our balance

On this perfectly flat surface.

Or to let go

As if compelled

Into the void of space below -

Unaware our minds might be planning

A darkly secret crime of opportunity

Should we ever get near enough to the edge

Seizing the moment to brutally

Plummet us to our deaths.

 

Interestingly, this also applies

To a plethora of life’s highs.

We work to be the best

Only to then fear being put to the test…

And FALLING.

Having our best bested.

Being replaced.

Imposter syndrome outed.

Being disgraced.

We fall from popularity.

We fall out of grace.

We fall out of favor.

We fall out of love.

The truth of this life

Is that if we reach heights

We potentially fall.

 

The fear of these falls

Holds us back from being outstanding.

Taking the lead.

Taking the leap.

Experiencing triumph.

Going first class.

Shattering that glass!

Overcoming.

Achieving success.

Being the best.

Going ALL IN.

Owning our skin.

 

I CAN trust myself

Even when I feel off balance.

My shadow side

Craves LIFE… not death.

My survival instinct has been tested.

What if I were to lean over that edge

As if truly invested?

Seize the moment

To explore the space below

For patterns and lessons?

Heights bring perspective.

Our falls hold a message:

 

Let go and climb that mountain.

Achieve elevation!

Falling is not dying.

It’s the prerequisite

For FLYING!