Heights
For most of my life,
Like many people I know,
I’ve had a fear of heights.
Although…
Fear doesn’t quite define the sensations.
The word TERROR better describes
My internal state at elevations.
My body, paralyzed.
Barely breathing,
Heart palpations,
My mind reeling.
Like a spider trapped
In her own web –
Holding myself back
From nourishment.
As if I cannot trust myself
Not to suddenly lose my balance
On this perfectly flat surface.
Or to let go
As if compelled
Into the void of space below -
Unaware my mind might be planning
A darkly secret crime of opportunity
Should I ever get near enough to the edge
Seizing the moment to brutally
Plummet myself to my death.
Recently I made a discovery.
An “aha” moment that is
Perhaps the key to recovery.
The fear is not of being up high.
Being up high actually amplifies
Where the root of the fear lies.
This terror we name “fear of heights”
Is actually the fear of FALLING, right?
As if we cannot trust ourselves
Not to suddenly lose our balance
On this perfectly flat surface.
Or to let go
As if compelled
Into the void of space below -
Unaware our minds might be planning
A darkly secret crime of opportunity
Should we ever get near enough to the edge
Seizing the moment to brutally
Plummet us to our deaths.
Interestingly, this also applies
To a plethora of life’s highs.
We work to be the best
Only to then fear being put to the test…
And FALLING.
Having our best bested.
Being replaced.
Imposter syndrome outed.
Being disgraced.
We fall from popularity.
We fall out of grace.
We fall out of favor.
We fall out of love.
The truth of this life
Is that if we reach heights
We potentially fall.
The fear of these falls
Holds us back from being outstanding.
Taking the lead.
Taking the leap.
Experiencing triumph.
Going first class.
Shattering that glass!
Overcoming.
Achieving success.
Being the best.
Going ALL IN.
Owning our skin.
I CAN trust myself
Even when I feel off balance.
My shadow side
Craves LIFE… not death.
My survival instinct has been tested.
What if I were to lean over that edge
As if truly invested?
Seize the moment
To explore the space below
For patterns and lessons?
Heights bring perspective.
Our falls hold a message:
Let go and climb that mountain.
Achieve elevation!
Falling is not dying.
It’s the prerequisite
For FLYING!
